awareness training

For some reason I was totally wrecked by today’s run on El Prieto. I could barely make it up the trail and back. And the rest of the day was “game over,” too.

It would be easy to blame the heat or sun as it is quite a bit hotter today than it’s been – about ninety-something. But, it wasn’t that hot yet when I was up there this morning, although the sun was already getting pretty intense.

It could also have been a lack of sleep last night, or the subsequent overdose of coffee that followed, or the previous day’s work, or maybe I’m sick or perhaps something else unknown.

As is often the case, it was probably a combination of factors. It’s a little bit scary to think that little pieces of our lives can combine to sabotage us. Maybe our best defense against this is to be better aware of a situation as it is developing. I knew on the way up the trail that I was getting crushed, but kept going. I probably should have turned around.

I’m starting to believe that a big part of training is gaining this sort of self-awareness. How do I feel when it’s time to turn around? When will I benefit from pushing through this wall in front of me?

Sometimes, though, the crushing is worth it. If I had turned around earlier I wouldn’t have seen the hundreds of butterflies drinking from the side of the stream. Or the mellow rattlesnake stretched out across the path in the morning sun. Or the tracks that led me right up to the deer that made them. Good trade.